dhrachth

Too Much Sex in Fic

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 19:15:24 GMT

I've been reading Supernatural fic lately and I have to say that the vast majority of it kind of sucks because it seems like most of the fandom is totally fixated on sex.

Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with a little porn. Mention of dick isn't going to shock and offend me. Heck, I'm a Queer as Folk fan. My problem is when everything is reduced to sex, particularly non-con & dub-con, just as a matter of course, and usually in wildly implausible ways while they're at it.

1) The common assumption that Dean prostituted himself to support him and Sam. One, neither of the boys look like they've ever missed a meal. John may have been a shitty father, but I have a hard time believing he didn't always cover at least the basic necessities--and Dean's way too macho tough guy to ever go there for anything less than desperation. Two, even if he were desperate for cash, prostitution isn't a big money maker and with his brains and skills he could do a hell of a lot better stealing and running cons--the things he actually does in canon. Hooker!fic makes absolutely no rational sense and yet it's a trope that pops up again and again, even when it's not labeled hooker!fic.

2) Everyone wants to rape Dean and/or Sam. Yes, they are very pretty. But rapists are cowards. They go for the easy marks. And nothing about over six feet tall, armed to the teeth, and well used to killing says easy mark. I could buy someone with poor survival skills trying it on, but his odds of success would be slim to none. I'm not saying it could never ever happen, but it would have to be some pretty damn unusual circumstances and I can't see Dean or Sam giving the possibility much thought. And yet, as fandom would have it, it happens all the damn time and the boys spend tons of time worrying about it happening to each other.

3) Torture = Rape. Anytime anyone is tortured, the rape card has to be played. Rape is highly traumatic, but it's not the worst thing that can ever happen to a person. Dean is in Hell. For the next twenty minutes he can be slowly disembowled or he can be ass raped. I'd think being carved open would be the more painful choice, so I'm guessing Alaistair went with that.

Why does non-con and dub-con have to pop up in what seems like every story? It's either supposed to be some kind of dirty hot thrill, which eww, no. Or it's supposed to be the catalyst for some kind of dark emotional whatsit--except it's just so plebeian and shallow. Rape isn't edgy and dark. It doesn't add depth to a character. It's an over used plot device that completely misses the boat on understanding complex human emotion and how we're not completely defined by our gonads.

I'm also not too fond of the Love=Sex trope. Where it's assumed that if you love someone, put them first before everyone else, you've got to have sexual feelings for them as well. That's just not true.

Eyeglasses - Really Cheap

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 23:09:27 GMT

I am pretty much blind. I can't function without glasses but having to up-grade my prescription and buy a new pair was one of those things I've always put off as long as humanly possible. I'd dread new glasses partly because when I try on frames I don't see well enough to get better than a vague idea of what they look like and if I pick wrong I'm stuck with ugly glasses for the next couple years but mostly the problem was the price. The last time I got my eyes examined I got two pair for $570 and that was a buy one get one free deal--I couldn't have bought one pair for half the price.

Then I found Zenni Optical. They do complete pairs of glasses starting at $8 plus $5 shipping. With my prescription (and the extra fees for more complicated lenses) it's still only cost $25-45 a pair. I had my doubts when I saw the price, but tried it anyway. I've bought 5 pairs and my dad has gotten another 4, neither of us has a simple prescription, and they all came out perfect.

There is a 2-3 week wait for them to arrive. I had to adjust the frames myself. Some weren't really flattering once I tried them on and Zenni doesn't take returns unless they did something wrong--so I'm just stuck with a couple ugly pairs. So it's not perfect. But just counting the three that are cute, that's 3 pair for $185 (plus a couple back-up pairs).

I always suspected but now I know for sure Lenscrafters, Eyeglass World, and Pearle Vision have been screwing me over for years. Anyone who wears glasses I strongly recommend giving Zenni a shot.

BBC Book Meme

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 16:04:54 GMT

The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books here. How do your reading habits stack up?

Instructions: Look at the list and put an X after those you have read. Tag other book nerds.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen (x)
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (x)
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte ( )
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling (x)
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee (x)
6 The Bible ( )
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte (x)
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell (x)
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman ( )
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens ( )

Total so far: 6/10

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott (x)
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy ( )
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller ( )
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare ( )
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier ( )
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien (x)
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk ( )
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger ( )
19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger ( )
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot (x)

Total so far: 9/20

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell ( )
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald (x)
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens ( )
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy ( )
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams (x)
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky (x)
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck (x)
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll ( )
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame ( )

Total so far: 13/30

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy ( )
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens ( )
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis ( )
34 Emma - Jane Austen (x)
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen (x)
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis (x)
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini ( )
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres ( )
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden ( )
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne (x)

Total so far: 17/40

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell (x)
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown ( )
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez (x)
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving ( )
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins ( )
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery (x)
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy ( )
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood (x)
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding ( )
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan ( )

Total so far: 21/50

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel ( )
52 Dune - Frank Herbert ( )
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons ( )
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen (x)
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth ( )
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon ( )
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens ( )
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley ( )
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime - Mark Haddon ( )
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez ( )

Total so far: 22/60

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck (x)
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov ( )
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt ( )
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold ( )
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas (x)
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac ( )
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy ( )
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding ( )
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie ( )
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville (x)

Total so far: 25/70

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens (x)
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker (x)
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett (x)
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson ( )
75 Ulysses - James Joyce ( )
76 The Inferno – Dante (x)
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome ( )
78 Germinal - Emile Zola ( )
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray (x)
80 Possession - AS Byatt ( )

Total so far: 30/80

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens ( )
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell ( )
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker ( )
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro ( )
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert ( )
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry ( )
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White (x)
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom ( )
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle ( )
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton ( )

Total so far: 31/90

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad (x)
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery (x)
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks ( )
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams ( )
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole ( )
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute ( )
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas ( )
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare (x)
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (x)
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo ( )

Total: 35/100

Britains schools must kinda suck, because with about three exceptions the ones I read were all school assignments. I am very much not a classics dork. I tend to like my entertainment completely without educational value.

Is it just me or...

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 17:42:59 GMT

There has been a lot written on the massive fail that is SGU's 'Sabotage.' I've seen extensive writing on the offensiveness of its portrayal of disability, lesbianism, and non-consensual sex.

One thing I haven't seen pointed out, that I personally find offensive, is just the fact that this character has a few days to experience things she's never been able to do before and she immediately has to find herself a man.

Even if they managed to write their way out of the other issues, maybe have her swap with a heterosexual character, have the person she swaps with give her permission to do what she wants, or have her realize when she's back to her regular body that being fully abled doesn't fix her life--the whole plot point still hinges on the concept that no woman's life is complete without experiencing the power of the almighty penis. (This isn't to say that this issue is any greater or lesser than any other issue with the episode. There is roughly equal amounts of fail all around here. I only mean to point out that it's a separate offense unto itself.)

The Recent SGA Brouhaha

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 03:37:12 GMT

There's been a lot of fan outrage and accompanying wank in the SGA fandom of late and I'm of two minds about the whole thing.

On one hand, I don't think there's anything wrong with cancelling SGA after 5 seasons and starting a new show. On the other hand, there is not a doubt in my mind that Brad and Joe did the SGA cast, crew, and fandom wrong and I'm also reasonably sure SGU is going to suck.

First off, five years is a good run. SG-1 started sucking season six-ish (and only recovered a bit in the later seasons because it turned into Far-gate, very nearly a new show). Buffy went through a dramatic downturn after season 5. It's a pretty common thing that after about 5 years shows run out of steam and the quality suffers.

Ending SGA and devoting all their funds and energies to something new, something they can get excited about, isn't a bad plan in an of itself. And when they first announced plans to do just that I wasn't ticked off at them in the slightest. Sure, I'd miss my favorite SGA characters, but better it end on an up note than drag on far past it's expiration date.

However, since they knew they were going to end SGA, I think that means they owed the SGA staff and all the SGA fans a proper send off. And they didn't do that. They didn't even give us a proper season five much less a series grand finale.

With the exception of the Shrine, none of the fifth season episodes were actually about the main SGA cast (Keller and Woolsey do not count). You've got episodes about the runner guy, the thief chick, the all female team, the one with Bill Nye, Daniel Jackson, half a dozen with Keller being the damsel in distress, a couple starring Woolsey, etc., etc. But, almost nothing in the season actually starred John, Rodney, Ronon, and Teyla--the characters that made the show a success in the first place, the ones fans really want to see.

And the final episode tying up loose ends... pfft.

The Wraith are still out there, not any more resolved than they were in the very first episode. They introduced the evil Asgard, and nothing has been done about that. Todd's still in the Atlantis brig. Atlantis is on Earth. The humans organizing back in Pegasus and how the expedition fits into that is still up in the air. Other than killing Michael, they didn't tie up a single plot thread in the last season--they actually added more.

They're tired of making SGA and want to move on to something new, fine. But that doesn't make it okay to completely disrespect all the people to whom SGA still matters by ending it with the half-assed crap that they did.

Which brings me to SGU...

I just don't see how it could possibly be any good. The cast is mostly women and/or minorities, which would be great, except Joe and Brad can't write either. They try, but the fact is they're classic scifi dorks cursed with successful white male tunnel vision.

Look at their track record. The Lucious date-rape episode almost goes without saying. Then there's Weir and Keller, two supposedly strong female characters, but that's not what their dialogue says. Dr. Weir is said to be some hotshot negotiator, but she never actually leads a successful negotiation. (But, Woolsey somehow manages just fine. I guess that's because he doesn't have the handicap of all those female hormones making him too emotional and trusting.) Keller has to be rescued in pretty much every episode in which she appears.

And even the female characters that don't do anything particularly offensive are chronically under utilized. Teyla is rarely given a key role in the plot and when she is it's for her Wraith psychic abilities. Theoretically Teyla is a warrior in her own right, every bit as tough as Ronon or John, and yet she is always the sidekick, never the action hero. Because she's female they just don't think of her in an active role, and generally only have her passive or support position.

As for people of color... What people of color? And various iterations of stoic alien don't really count.

I don't think Joe and Brad are trying to maliciously make any sexist or racist statements, it's just pure ignorance. The SGU body swap episode is a good example of this. They did apologize for offending people, but you can tell they have no idea why people were offended--which means there's no hope of them fixing it or of avoiding the same kinds of problems in the future.

I do think they know how to write geeky white male characters (John, Rodney, Jack, & Daniel for example), but anything outside their bailiwick and they range from passable characters that can be salvaged by a skilled enough actor to total disasters. From all reports SGU is totally out of their range.

I'll watch the first few episodes of SGU to see for myself. But I'd be completely shocked and amazed if it were so much as halfway decent.

The bottom-line is I suspect SGU is going to fail. Then in an attempt to salvage an audience for the franchise they'll dust off the original plans for an SGA movie--but considering the travesty of the last year's episodes and all the bridges they've burned with actors and fans I don't think there's much they can do to get out of the hole they've dug for themselves. I think, right now, we're looking at the beginning of the end for the current franchise--although I'm sure it'll be resurrected one day after a long enough hiatus for the nostalgia factor to come into play--for the moment it is pretty much played out. And that's kind of sad.

SGA - Wallpaper

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 00:22:06 GMT

I just got a wide-screen monitor and needed new wide-screen wallpaper to match. Couldn't find anything to suit me, so I cobbled something together. Feel free to grab it if you want.

I was trying to fine tune the wallpaper above, get John the right way around for one. While I was looking for gate graphics I ran across an SGU gate. I got to thinking about how Rodney's got this kind of long suffering expression and John looks aggressively neutral in these pics (I suspect David and Joe really don't like doing publicity stills). Then, inspired by sgamadison's Cabin Series, I put two and two together, and came up with this.

Because I'm a Lazy Bastard...

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:20:58 GMT

I adore crossovers and every time I get into a fandom my mind inevitably strays to crazy crossover space. However, since I have the fandom attention span of a goldfish and I rarely work up the energy to actually write, I very much doubt I'll ever actually develop any of my ideas. But since there's some slim chance I'll take one of these up one day, I thought I'd jot some of them down. (And if by some bizarre chance you like the sound of one of these feel free to grab it.)

Smallville/SG-1 - Sometime before the Goa'uld were completely defeated, maybe circa those eps where Kinsey is first introduced. Lex is the Senator overseeing SGC in some respect and some how gets roped into playing power games with the Goa'uld. Seems to me that after dealing with Lionel, the Goa'uld would be a piece of cake.

Naruto/Harry Potter - I love those 'Harry wasn't raised by the Dursleys and actually grew up in crossover-verse X' fics. So I was thinking Harry could have somehow ended up in Konoha and grown up as a ninja--a certain very special ninja... Rock Lee. It could work, the wild hair tacked down by excessive product, contact lenses to correct his vision and change his eye color to be more like his beloved sensei, you'd never see the scar under that bowl cut and the power the Dark Lord knows not: The Power of Youth!

Battlestar Galactica/Stargate Atlantis - Mostly, I just didn't like the end of BSG. I thought it was kind of stupid, so an alternate theory. Say the Lord of Kobol were ascended Ancients who set up a colony way out on the edge of the Pegasus galaxy because they disagreed with the total non-interference policy of their peers. The thirteenth tribe set out to find Earth, which they had record of since the Ancients that started their planet knew about it, but the 13th Tribe never found Earth since it's in another galaxy and eventually they became the Travelers from SGA. The two series happen and the two human groups plus respective enemies eventually run into each other in the more heavily populated sections of Pegasus.

Lexx/SG-1 - There's this scene that pops into my head periodically. Xev gets picked out as a host and for some reason SG-1 is around to witness this. Unfortunately for the goa'uld, Xev's part cluster lizard and kind of hungry. There's a fast grab followed by crunching sounds. SG-1 is shocked and nauseated. Xev very much enjoyed the appetizer and is hoping for a main course.

Harry Potter/Stargate Atlantis - John Sheppard's mother was a squib and a Potter. John, after his father's death, decides to look up his cousin James only to find out he'd died and left baby Harry an abused and neglected orphan. So John adopts Harry and Harry grows up on Atlantis (I'm a McShep-shipper so I'm picturing Rodney as the other parent in this scenario). I was also thinking maybe ATA gene could translate into magical ability, but like in Tao of Rodney the human brain isn't really built for super powers. So you can either do spells and give yourself brain damage--which would explain some of the rampant stupidity in the HP books--or you can avoid magic and retain whatever smarts you were born with. (I'm a big fan of everything coming at a price.) I figure John probably got an invite to magic school but his father wanted him to get a real education and John just wanted to fly planes.

Harry Potter/Due South - Yet another Harry raised by someone other than the Dursley's idea. Say Petunia absolutely refused to take Harry in, instead she sent him off to live with a her Canadian cousin, one Benton Fraser. A Harry Potter who grew up in the Arctic Circle with a freaky Mountie and a hyper-active former Chicago cop (and a half-wolf) for parents, just take a moment to picture... (I'm firmly a F/K-shipper, so I pretty much can't fathom this idea any other way.)

You can probably tell I've been on kind of a HP & Stargate spree of late.

F-ing Masks

Wed, 06 May 2009 00:24:19 GMT

I've been reading DueSouth fanfic lately. One thing that is in DSfic all the time that I just cannot stand is the 'Mountie Mask.' That claim that a character is always hinding behind a mask to protect their true self irritates the fuck out of me.

Personally, I think if you hate a character so much that you have to pass off all their behavior as a mentally unhealthy fiction and then completely rewrite who they are, you just shouldn't write them.

In the case of DueSouth, I think Fraser is the polite super-Mountie because he authentically cares about other people. A lot of authors seem to think good manners and dedication to justice are obviously signs of an extreme inferiority complex and it's all an act trying to make people like him and make up for some imagined guilt. Which in my opinion totally eviscerates the character by making him basically self obsessed.

I'm not saying Fraser has to be depicted as 100% the perfect hero. He's a complex character with plenty of flaws. There was the Victoria situation. He could get down right snippy with the Rays. From canon events accusations of overconfidence and pushiness would be perfectly plausible too.

However, if you're going to dismiss 90% of Fraser's onscreen behavior as a 'mask,' not who he really is--then you're pretty much into original character territory. And stealing a character I love's life and handing it off to some stranger just does not sit well with me.

And this isn't confined to DSfic. I've seen it in Queer as Folk fandom where Brian is hiding his true desire for commitment, monogamy, a couple kids, and long discussions about his feelings behind his playboy 'mask.' Or in Stargate: Atlantis fandom where John is highly traumatized by his military career, extremely lonely, and either a cutter or a total slut or both but hiding it behind a 'mask' of martial competence and having friends... or something.

Basically, if a fic has the words 'hiding behind a mask' anywhere in it (outside of Halloween or a costume party), it's got to suck. It's either written by an author who totally missed the point of a character or a manipulative ploy to get people to read an original character by subbing them as someone we actually like.

Searching for Fic Search

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 00:13:49 GMT

I read tons of fic from lots of different fandoms. Then when I'm looking for the same fic again or get a craving for a particular kind of fic it gets kind of tricky to find what I'm looking for amongst all my links. I really appreciate Story and/or Genre search communities and am trying to compile as complete a list of them as I can. Here's the ones I know about:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel Inquiry
DueSouth Genrefinders
DueSouth Storyfinders
HP - FictionAlley Park
QAF Get it Here
SGA Genrefinder
SGA Storyfinders
Star Wars
SPN Story Finders
Smallville Inquiry

I'd be grateful for a link to any currently active search community, no matter the fandom.

52 Books... maybe

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 23:53:35 GMT

I've been seeing this 52 Books in 52 Weeks thing popping up all over and it got me to thinking about how I rarely read actual books anymore. It's almost all fanfic of late. So I'm making a conscious effort to try some real novels. I don't know if I'll get to 52 or manage one a week, but there's got to be some really good books out there I'm missing. I'm thinking a running list might help. So far:

March 2009

(01)Week 1: Kitty and the Midnight Hour by Carrie Vaughn - The problem with this one is that I just didn't give a rat's ass about Kitty. Stuff happened, but I can't really recall what or be bothered to care.

(02)Week 2: His Majesty's Dragon by Naomi Novik - The first book in the Temeraire series and I am so glad I picked this one up. It was just charming. I've placed my order for the rest of the series and am anxiously awaiting their arrival. Hallelujah for grown up characters!

(03)Week 3: The Nymphos of Rocky Flats by Mario Acevedo - My total reaction to this one is just, 'meh.' I was expecting funny, but it fell flat. The mystery/detective work angle was pretty weak too.

(04)Week 4: The Wrecks of Time by Michael Moorcock - It's not bad but is very dated. In 1967, when it was originally published, it was probably a pretty interesting idea. Now days it's no surprise.

April 2009

(00)Week 5: No books. I read a lot of Due South fanfic.

(05)Week 6: Stargate Atlantis: Rising by Sally Malcolm - Just a novelization of the first episode of SGA, but it had some pretty good POV stuff and the author did have a really good grasp on the characters. You could tell she really is a big fan of the show.

(06)Week 7: Death of a Glutton by M.C. Beaton - Kind of the standard group of quirky people on holiday in a small town and one of them is killed mystery. I really like Hamish Macbeth and although I've read better mysteries, it wasn't a bad whodunit.

(00)Weeks 8 & 9: More Due South fanfic plus some Stargate Atlantis fic.

May 2009

(07)Week 10: Downtown by Ed McBain - Sort of wacky adventure through downtown New York. I enjoyed it. Not a lot in the way of engaging characters or intriguing plot, but there were plenty of clever turns of phrase and some pretty decent one liners.

(00)Week 11: More fanfic. And Amazon had a DVD sale.

(00)Week 12: Watched Battlestar Galactica's first season.

(08)Week 13: Ill Wind by Rachel Caine - This one follows the urban-fantasy/supernatural-tough-chick formula, but with a truly original execution. 1) It's weather wardens and djinn rather than vampires and werewolves--a brand new supernatural set up that works surprisingly well. 2) The main character wasn't a Mary Sue--at least not yet. I'll definitely pick up the next book in the series.

June 2009

(00)Week 14: Re-watched SGA Season 3, Read some Merlin fic

(09)Week 15: Throne of Jade by Naomi Novik - This is the second Temeraire book. I think this one was even better than the first. I thought the desciptions of China and the totally different way they viewed dragons was just fascinating.

(00)Week 16: Re-watched SGA Season 4, Watched NCIS Season 1

(00)Week 17: Finished re-watching SGA Season 4, plus NCIS Season 2

July 2009

(00)Week 18: Started SGA Season 5, reading Star Trek reboot fic, NCIS Season 3

(10)Week 19: Black Powder War by Naomi Novik - Third Temeraire book. I found this one a little slow. However I suspect that's because I'm not really interested in desert travel or Turkey which was the setting for much of this one. When they got to Prussia it picked up a bit. I'm really looking forward to the next one where they finally get back to Britain.

(00)Week 20: NCIS Season 4, more Star Trek Kirk/Spock fic

(11)Week 21: The Demon's Lexicon by Sarah Rees Brennan - This one is by one of my favorite HP fanfic writers, so I've been looking forward to it ever since she announced publication on her blog. It didn't disappoint. Interesting world creation, snappy dialogue, and a solid plot. The best part was the main character who was a top notch anti-hero--not at all the run of the mill protagonist. The big reveal was perhaps not quite as much of a surprise as it should of been, kind of obvious from about half way through. Otherwise it was an excellent book, very entertaining.

(00)Week 22: NCIS Season 5, organizing my DS & SGA fic links

August 2009

(00)Week 23: Battlestar Galactica

(00)Week 24: More Battlestar Galactica

(12)Week 25: The Color of Magic by Terry Pratchett - First of the Discworld Novels. It was mildly amusing. I'm happy I read it just for the classic of fantasy factor. But, I don't think I'll be picking up any of the further installments.

(13)Week 26: Partners in Crime 1: Boy Meets Body by Josh Lanyon and Sarah Black - Actually two novellas rather than a novel. The Josh Lanyon one was cute. It was his usually delicate author solves a mystery with the help of his cop boyfriend, but the mystery made sense and the romance part was sweet. The Sarah Black novella was very amateur. The writing was packed with florid similies and metaphors and she did a lot of telling rather than showing. It was not professional quality writing.

Recs

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 23:23:08 GMT

They got a new firewall at work. It blocks LJ, which really, really sucks. I don't post much, but I do read a lot and comment some. Now I'm stuck trawling FF.net, one of the few sites that isn't filtered out as 'adult content' or 'social networking.'

The up shot is I've found a few stories I absolutely love that I probably never would have tried based solely on the description if I'd had anything else to do.

Shadows in Starlight by Vathara - It's a Rurouni Kenshin/Star Wars crossover. I know that sounds like it has to suck, but it was surprisingly brilliant. She managed to make the crossover work perfectly. It was so good, I've actually taken to SW fanfic and I don't even like SW that much. I still haven't seen the last two movies and probably never will watch them, but this one fic has sold me on a serious attachment to Obi-Wan Kenobi.

I'm also really impressed with two WIPs by Marz1:

A Village Hidden in Hope - A Naruto/Star Wars cross that's very well written and quite addictive.

The Truth Decays - A Fullmetal Alchemist/Naruto cross that has nailed Edward's personality exactly.

FMA fic recs

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 22:30:42 GMT

After a long absense from FMA fandom, I'm finally getting back into it a bit. Yaoi is still my first love, but a couple gen fics I really like are:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3537350/1/The_Book_of_Truth
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3628620/1/Alchemys_Child

Anyone have good recs for me? I haven't been keeping up the last couple years. I'm sure there's some gems I missed and some old favorites that could stand a reread.

Roy/Ed is a favorite but, like with the two above, gen fic is good too. I'm willing to give pretty much anything a shot. Really good writing can sell me on an idea that made me cringe to start with. The only thing I can't stand in fic unrelenting misery that drags on for ages without any glimmer of happiness on the horizon.

QAF fic - Reconsidering

Wed, 03 Sep 2008 23:14:05 GMT

Just a snippet I did for Drabylon a few months back but forgot to post here.

Summary: Brian/Justin a few months post-513. Justin's had some time to think over this New York idea.

Reconsidering

"How long before you leave?" Brian asked as he combed his fingers through Justin's sweat soaked bangs.

"Not sure, I'm thinking at least a couple years, possibly never," Justin replied off handedly, grinning up at Brian.

Brian stared at Justin for a moment, trying to work out what was going on in that squirrelly blond head, then demanded, "What about New York?"

Justin, looking completely unconcerned, stretched like a cat, scratched at a patch of dried cum on his hip, and then explained matter-of-factly, "New York's a great city, the art and culture, the clubs, I could so see myself living there one day. But right now... I don't know what the fuck I'm doing there."

"You mean since the New York art scene didn't immediately drop to their knees and praise your brilliance you plan to run home to mommy with your tail between your legs," Brian immediately shot back.

"No, you asshole," he protested, lightly slapping Brian's chest with the back of his hand to show that he wasn't really upset about the accusation. "I mean, that after carefully weighing all my options I decided that being in New York right now is not the best way to achieve my goals," Justin explained in a mock pretentious tone. Going back to a more conversational manner he continued, "When I left things were crazy. The bombing, then the wedding and that article and you acting like a pod person. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. New York sounded like a good idea so I just got on a plane. It was a hasty decision, ill-advised, one might say harebrained."

"Harebrained?" Brian repeated, arching one eyebrow and chewing on one side of his mouth.

"When I got there, sure, the Artforum article got my foot in the door at couple places--ones that were really small and not that well known. But all anyone would even consider looking at were big pieces, like the ones in my one and only professional show--pieces that were physically impossible to do in my shoebox size New York apartment. I could rent studio space, but the only way to afford that would be to work more hours waiting tables or find a higher paying job. Except if I worked more hours I'd have no time to paint and better jobs don't usually go to college drop outs," Justin explained gesturing with his hands to further emphasize his points.

"I could--" Brian started to say.

"Don't even think about it," Justin cut him off.

"Think about what?" Brian said in his most innocent tone.

"You know what, and it's completely out of the question. I've got to do this for myself," Justin insisted.

"And what exactly is it you're planning on doing?" Brian asked, honestly curious. This definitely didn't sound like Justin was about to suggest coming home, getting married, and becoming the little woman who dabbled in art.

"Well, I figured I could either spend years as a starving artist in New York just crossing my fingers and hoping for my big break--after six months in New York I can tell you the Artforum article isn't it, at least not by itself. Or I could come back here, finish school, build up my portfolio in studio space I can actually afford, get some showings in local galleries to get my name out there, and then either get an agent who'll shop me around while I work in Pittsburgh, or go back to New York in a couple years with an actual plan."

"It sounds like you've got it all figured out."

"You're not going to argue with me?" Justin asked, sounding both surprised and confused.

"If I thought you were giving up your dream to be with me, no fucking way would I let you do it," Brian began.

"Let me?" Justin interjected in protest.

"But it doesn't sound like you're giving up on anything," Brian continued, ignoring Justin’s outburst. He paused for a second then smirked. "Besides, when I was unemployed my partner being an art school drop out was no big deal, but now that I'm a successful business man it's pretty fucking embarrassing."

QAF Calendar/Timeline

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 01:01:41 GMT

I mentioned watching Queer as Folk three times in my last post. This time, I figured I should do something useful. (Useful or batshit insane, the jury is still out on that one.) So I took notes and so far I've come up with this:

timeline.xls

I start showing my brother season 4 this Friday, and I'll post the completed version as soon as we get through the last two seasons.

Updated: I finally finished it. If anyone has any specific questions as to why I spaced things out the way I did, feel free to ask. I'd be happy to consult my notes and explain which evidence I'm giving priority and my reasoning as to why.

FYI: The show timeline was a bit off. The first season was definitely 2001. There were actual dates in the show. Seasons 4 and 5 were dated 2004 and 2005 on screen. But only 4 years passed in the show narrative (unless Mel was pregnant for 2 years). So it was either move the later seasons back or the early seasons forward--I went with moving the later ones back but could have easily gone the other way. My goal was to put events on a calendar relative to each other, the years are just there for perspective.

Just general rambling...

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 00:11:50 GMT

It's been awhile since I posted anything, so I thought I should say something to show I haven't completely abandonned this thing. So a few things I've learned:

Queer as Folk: One of the Best Shows Ever!
I'm now completely obsessed with Queer as Folk. I've watched the entire series twice since Christmas and am up to the last disc of season 3 for the third go around. (Really not quite a crazy as it seems. I had to show it to people, which motivated the rewatches. But, I've got to say it bares rewatching, even when you can almost remember the dialogue.)

It's basically a drama about a group of gay friends--which doesn't sound like a must watch. But it's just so well done. It's got a fantastic cast. Every one of them is completely loveable. And Gale Harold is really hot. The dialogue is sharp and witty but also very believable. There's romance and angst and comedy, even some mystery and suspense. And of course there's all the hot m/m sex graphically depicted on screen.

I'm not sales pitch girl, so I'm not the best with describing why you should watch the show if you haven't already. However, to put it in perspective my 60-year-old mother, who hasn't watched TV since Xena was canceled in 1996, was just on her way to the laundry room while I was watching the series the first time. Suddenly she stopped, said, 'Did I just see dick?' I answered in the affirmative, because it is a Showtime production and does feature full frontal and she ended up watching the rest of the series with me. (Not because of the dick. She is in fact a lesbian. The surprise just made her stop a second and the characters and dialogue sucked her in.)

Book Mooch: Very Nifty
http://www.bookmooch.com/
It's a book trading site. You send people books, earn points, then request books from other people. I've only been a member a couple months, and I've already gotten some excellent trades. It's worked much better for me than used bookstores, sure they'll trade and unlike bookmooch I don't have to pay shipping--but they never have anything I want.

Bizarre, Yet Brilliant, Fic Recs
These are some fics I've found that are way different from the norm, yet really really good. Lot of different fandoms.

Whenever You're Ready by Severina - This is Queer as Folk zombie fic. It's basically what happens if there were a zombie apocalypse in the QAF-verse. I don't know that I would recommend it as an intro to QAF, but it's a good read for anyone who likes zombies.

Second Chances by Red Crow - This is a Naruto timetravel fic. Anyone who's read a lot of Naruto fic knows there's a lot of travel back in time and redo everything from the start fic. This one seems like a retread of the same old thing, but the execution takes it in a completely new and quite funny direction.

Upon a Fiery Steed by Vathara - A Gundam Wing/Stargate: SG-1 crossover. GW is made AU enough to fit into canon SG-1, but keeps almost all the canon events slightly altered to fit. It's a weird cross but she makes it work seamlessly and the story is just a fun adventure. (I also recommend Blades of Blood and it's sequel Witchy Woman and Spin Cycle and it's sequel Veritas--all four I've read more than once--but Upon a Fiery Steed is my favorite of hers.)

It Happened One Weekend by Mahaliem - A Smallville AU fic that fuses Clex!fic with the classic film It Happened One Night which is one of my all time favorite romantic comedies.

NIN

Fri, 30 May 2008 23:18:40 GMT

Babbling about my current musical selections. Thumbs up on NIN's Year Zero.

Once upon a time (highschool) I was a rabid Nine Inch Nails fan. Collected all the halos, wore the t-shirts, knew every word to every song, etc.

Then there was that big gap with nadda being produced.

Then there was The Fragile, which was kind of disappointing. I don't know if it was just not very good or if the fact that I was over my teen angst phase just made me unable to appreciate, but either way I just was not impressed. It didn't suck, but it in no way measured up to the earlier albums.

Then I tried [With Teeth] and found the whole thing completely forgettable. I mean literally forgettable as in I can't recall a single track from the album.

So I was about to write off NIN for good, but that Amazon free shipping got me. I was ordering some TKK cds, needed one more item to make $25, and Year Zero was on the recommendations--so I gave it a shot. I gotta say, Thank You Amazon! It's good! I mean really really good!

In other personal playlist news, I was catching up my TKK (My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult) collection and I have to give them points for consistency and one of the best album titles ever: Gay, Black, and Married. Rarely do they come up with a track I absolutely love, but I've never picked up a TKK cd that I haven't enjoyed.

And the hole just keeps getting deeper...

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 04:49:29 GMT

Once again, I open my mouth, I get myself in trouble.

I had a bag of leftover chocolate I was bringing into work to pass around the office and walked passed my boss on the way in.

ME: Want candy. (Holding up the bag.)
HIM: Isn't that my line. You should know better than to offer a dirty old man candy.
ME: I meant figuratively not literally! (brief pause) No, wait, I meant the other way 'round. Literally, not figuratively.

Then I stomped up the stairs trailing the tattered remains of my dignity while he cackled in the lobby.

Sometimes, I should just not speak...

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 00:14:44 GMT

My mom bought a vacuum sealer so she could put steaks in plastic bags and suck all the air out so they don't get freezer burn.

My brother said: "She could have just used a plastic straw."

My reply: "I don't want mom sucking on my meat."

I tried to retract, but it just kept getting worse. I think I may have scarred myself for life.

Much Whinging On

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 07:53:33 GMT

This is pretty much going to be me bitching and moaning about my life, so you probably just want to skip it.

Okay, on the job front. I finished my masters and put in an app with the local public library--which has been advertising this particular vacant position for almost 2 years. I get the notification saying that I'm going to be interviewed, wait a few months, then they finally schedule a time. I get there, there's four people doing the interview. The three ladies are very friendly, seem to like me, are really enthusiastic about giving me the job--almost unnaturally so--like they're trying to convince me to take it rather than the other way around. Then there's the guy who basically grunts through all my answers and only speaks to me once:

GUY INTERVIEWER: Do you have any actual library experience?
ME: I worked as a student assistant my last semester at South (the school I got my bachelor's from), but after finishing my undergraduate degree I went to work full time at my current job. So just a very small amount of work in an actual library, but I think a lot of the skills from my current position transfer.
HIM: What about internships?
ME: No. I would have loved to be able to do something like that. I'm sure I would have learned a lot. But, from a practical standpoint, I just could not figure out a way to make it work.
HIM: What about while you were finishing your masters?
ME: I was working 50 hours a week and taking night classes. There just wasn't time for an internship.
HIM: Oh. (in this really snotty way)

That was three weeks ago, haven't heard a word from them. I kind of think I'm not getting the job. My whole reaction is WTF! It only pays $27,000 and they require a Master's degree. They're out of their minds if they expect lots of education and several years of experience too for that kind of money.

Then the internship thing. It was like I was some kind of slacker for not working for free at some point. I'm not a money-grubber (I wouldn't be applying for this job if I cared a lot about money) but I do have bills to pay. And, yes, there's such thing as a paid internship, but the pay is usually ridiculous and they don't come with health insurance.

Lots of just out of college kids say, 'Hey, I'm young and healthy. Who cares about insurance?' Me, I'm young and healthy at the moment, but a couple years ago I spent two weeks in the hospital with some mystery illness. Everyone thought I was going to die, six of my twelve specialists actually told me so after I got better. To this day, no one knows what made me sick or if it'll ever happen again. I'm not going to risk shoddy healthcare and a couple million in medical bill debt to be someone's unpaid book monkey and add a line to my resume.

What I suspect, is that the three ladies really want to hire someone, anyone, so long as they get some help. Meanwhile the guy, who was somewhat higher up the totem pole than them, keeps turning everyone down because they're not up to his ridiculously high standards--it's not like he's the one who has to pick up the slack when they're understaffed.

I'm not saying I'm the end all and be all of applicants. If they gave the job to someone else, fine. I babble a bit when I'm nervous. Someone could easily interview better. But, they've not hired anyone. (There's this whole weird hiring practice for all local gov't agencies that means I'd know if the position had been filled and it hasn't.) I know I'm a damn sight better than nothing. I haven't a criminal record. I come to work on time. I'm a hard worker and a fast learner and I have excellent references attesting to that fact.

The only thing I can think is that it's the experience thing. How do you get experience if no one will hire you without experience? Arrgh!

Now, I suppose I've got to fall back on the Information Sciences part of my degree, which means web design and database admin. I can probably make twice as much as I could as a librarian, but it's not what I want to do.

There's also the switching jobs thing. I go somewhere else, and yes more money, but I could end up working for assholes--and it's not like the work itself would be anymore appealing than what I do now--just something else I'm capable at but don't particularly enjoy.

That's the one thing I've got to say about the police dept., my assistant is still completely useless and intermittently obnoxious, but my supervisors are all great. They've discussed creating me a position within the dept., changing my responsibilities some and increasing the pay, which I'd be all for since my first choice is a no go. Unfortunately, I doubt they're going to get on that until I get something else in the works. I hate job hunting.

Then on a personal front, there's this guy at work who had been thinking about asking me out for 4 years. He'd ask other people about me, but would never actually ask me. I got to be friends with one of his gal pals and she invited us both to lunch with her one day. After lunch, he finally asked me out. We went out twice, he asked me out a third time, and I had to turn him down. He's a nice guy, I enjoyed myself the two times we went out, but there was zero chemistry. I wasn't attracted to him in the slightest.

Two dates. I figure it's no big deal. But, our mutual friend has been telling me how perfect he thinks I am and how he really wants to see me again, etc. etc. I'm still not interested. Friday, I found out he's moving into the office next to mine a week from Monday. I'm just praying it doesn't get weird.

By the by, regarding fic, still not abandonned, just on an indeterminate hiatus. I've got to get this work and lovelife business sorted first.

And, because I already posted my shoe woes, I must recommend my eventual solution:

CutesyGirl.com - The best shoe store ever!

I've solved the shoes thing, but...

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 04:55:16 GMT

My assistant at work is completely fucking useless (and kind of a closet racist). Not only do I have my work to do, I've got half of her work plus fixing all the stuff she screws up if I don't keep a really close eye on everything she does. I get home completely exhausted and incapable of anything more taxing than vegging out in front of the TV.

I've still got my post-its for the last few pieces of Life in Progress, but god only knows when I'll be able to write again.

On the brightside, I got the complete Queer as Folk for Christmas. I'd never seen it before and absolutely adored it--the first three seasons at least.

This is going to sound really crazy & shallow...

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 21:55:43 GMT

I can't write because I need new shoes. My favorite pair of black shoes broke. Literally broke. They're wooden soles:

The front two inches snapped off.

Now I desperately need new everyday black shoes. This past week I've been wearing 6" stillettos with all my black outfits--which is fine short term but I don't feel like pushing my luck for too long.

The past couple weeks I've been spending all my time browsing online for replacement shoes--a really time consuming process because I want something really specific. I want black open-toe slides with at least a 1/4 inch platform and 3-3 1/2 inch clog, square, or architectural heel, not a wedge--nothing too frilly or funky on the upper.

I think I might have to spend an obscene amount of money and get some shoes from: Zoccoli

That thing about an August update...

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 22:50:58 GMT

... well. I lied. I had every intention of finally finishing the story, but my assistant retired and her replacement is a really, really slow worker and actually pretty thick. I'll try for early September.

I hate posting these excuse posts. I always feel like such an ass.

In the run up to DH (which was not overly impressive) I did read some rather nice HP fic.

Pretty much anything by Maya, but particularly: Drop Dead Gorgeous, Quality of Mercy, and If You've a Ready Mind. (Unfortunately for those last two you've kind of got to dig.) V. funny Harry/Draco.

A Single Love by Vera which is a Harry goes back in time and raises Tom Riddle, but slashy and twisted.

Death Eater Takes a Holiday by Lee Lee Potter really long, hot, and humorous HP/SS story.

Family Values by Ishtar honestly not the best written story, but it's an Addams Family crossover, let me say that again ADDAMS FAMILY CROSSOVER!

Nocturne by Tira Nog HP/SS, Sevs a vampire and Harry wants sex.

The Uncle, from sam vimes Everything Sam writes is excellent, but I thought this one was really fun. Features Remus Lupin, Crime Lord.

Evil Be Thou My Good by Ruskbyte Hellraiser/HP cross, Ruskbyte is pretty much king of the really unusual but strangely appealing crossovers.

Harry Potter and the Pretty Sorcerors Balls by NGX's Girl X This is one of those retell the story from the beginning things, this time Harry is flammingly homosexual.

In Blood Only by E.M. Snape the only Severitus challenge fic I believed (but not the only one I enjoyed). Amazingly in character Snape.

Anything by jennavere who writes really lovely Harry/Draco fic.

And of course, no HP recs list would be complete without aspeninthesunlight

Still Breathing

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 01:04:57 GMT

Got a reminder today that it has been awhile since my last post, just thought I should post a little status update.

The semester with Youth Lit and Usability Analysis was horrific. My professors were insane. Then, right before registration for summer semester I got this email saying, 'We're changing the graduation requirements to require fewer electives, if you want to graduate now we can put you on the graduation list.' My reply was of course, 'Hell yes. Put me on the list.' So as of April 28th I'm a proud (and relieved) graduate with a Masters in Library Science.

May I spent reveling in not being a student. I did my under-grad and grad work back to back right out of highschool. This was the first time in 21 years I've been completely out of school. Went on a lot of day trips and outings with friends and family--everyone was just amazed to see me there because so often I'd have to stay home to do homework.

June, we started budget meetings at work. This is the first time ever they've actually asked the police dept. what kind of money they need--so much scrambling around compiling figures on things we've never tracked in the past.

End of July we're having the final budget proposal. (There's also going to be much Harry Potter distraction taking up any and all free time.) I'm thinking I'm finally going to do the last few chapters of Life in Progress in August.

I've been ill

Sun, 07 Jan 2007 20:50:59 GMT

I was going to finish Life in Progress over Christmas break, but I've been sick all week and school starts again tomorrow.

Anyone have any good home remedies for post-nasal drip? If I could eat something without it all tasting like snot, that would be so wonderful.

Maybe I'll luck out and some of my classes this term will turn out to be easy. I'm taking Multicultural Youth Literature and Usability Analysis, so there is a chance one of my teachers will give me a break--it's not like the semester with Grant Writing and Cataloging where the subject matter automatically required a lot of work. (I'm working on a Masters of Library and Information Science, if anyone is curious.)

At work, things have been interesting lately. We're doing a statistical analysis type thing to assess how all the city departments are doing. The analysis part is a pain in the butt, but at the last meeting the Police Chief started his presentation by praising me by name to the Mayor--which is a big thing considering that I'm a lowly payroll clerk (there are only two jobs in the entire city government that make less money than I do).

But the really interesting thing was that on the way back from the meeting, I was there for a drug bust. It was like watching COPS, except live and in person.

FMA: Life in Progress, Chapter 13

Sun, 24 Dec 2006 21:40:20 GMT

Title: Life in Progress
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Roy/Ed or Ed/Roy + Al/Winry
Summary: Set post-anime series. Roy & Ed falling in love through everyday things. Not angst.
Chapter Summary: The Ball

Chapter 13

Roy scanned the crowd as he walked into the ballroom. General, general, brigadier general, the Fuhrer, group of colonels, he noted absently. Finally his gaze landed on a trio of blonds and one blond in particular.

Edward, quite respectably dressed in white tie in tails, was gesticulating wildly while relating some story that had his sister-in-law giggling behind her fan and his brother fidgeting uncomfortably.

Roy couldn't quite suppress a smile when looking at his... significant other--lover didn't seem quite the right term considering all the assignations he had in the past using that label and boyfriend was just childish. Edward was just too cute in his formal wear. If Roy were judging solely on the basis of how the cut of Ed's suit emphasized his broad shoulders and slim hips or how the starkness of the black and white perfectly set off the rich gold of his hair and eyes, Roy would have to go with handsome or sexy as the appropriate adjective for Ed in civilian formal wear. But, when Ed's stubborn insistence on never donning military dress--despite being a full Colonel with an impressive military record and who even sometimes admits that maybe the army isn't all that bad, at least not since most of the worst officers had been removed--was taken into account... Roy definitely had to go with cute, in a mulish, pouty kind of way.

Tearing his eye away from the one person with whom he actually wanted to spend the evening, Roy set to circulating among all those people with whom he needed to spend the evening. One can never under estimate the power of a good schmooze. Fuhrer Hawthorne had announced his intention to retire before he turned seventy, which was only six years away. Past history being what it is, being the candidate liked by the most people and therefore least likely to cause uproar upon succession would be an excellent selling point.

An hour or so later, after sufficient greetings to all the really important people had been made, Roy finally had a chance to go looking for Edward. A dance or a kiss would be wildly inappropriate under the circumstances, but he could at least say hello. And, if Ed were feeling particularly charitable, he might be able to cart the Fullmetal Alchemist about for a bit on his next social round. Since the Elrics were always making one noteworthy achievement or another, he could always get a little mileage out of reminding people of his long past moment of recruiting genius.

After a few moments searching the room, Roy spotted Edward squiring Winry around the dance floor in a slow waltz. He seemed to be doing a respectable job of it too, no crushed toes or collisions with other couples in evidence. Since Ed was busy, Roy headed toward the refreshment table. It was the most likely place to catch Ed between dances, and Havoc was right--the food was always excellent.

On his way there, he ran into Captains Havoc and Hawkeye. Havoc, for once, was clean shaven and his was uniform immaculately pressed. Hawkeye was, surprisingly, not wearing a uniform. Instead she wore an elegant blue evening gown. More shocking still, was the fact that they appeared to be attending together.

"Riza took pity on me," Havoc announced before Roy could even ask. "I nearly had to ask Rachel Nolen," he elaborated.

Roy winced in sympathy, Miss Nolen, although a sweet girl, had a rather unfortunate laugh--somewhere between a pig and a donkey. "That was very kind of you to make such a sacrifice," Roy observed to Hawkeye.

"Jean is usually punctual and an acceptable dancer. I have had worse escorts," Hawkeye admitted with a slight smile.

"Hoo boy. I guess this means I've finally got a shot," Havoc said in an aside to Roy.

"I don't think I'd go quite that far," Hawkeye said dryly.

Havoc's countenance immediately took on a dejected look. "There, there," Roy said patting Havoc's shoulder comfortingly. "It only took Riza ten years to mold you into someone she doesn't mind being seen with in public. Give her a few more years to work on you, and you might actually manage mildly attractive."

"You really think so?" Havoc said hopefully, then the actual content of what Roy'd said dawned on him. "Hey!" Havoc exclaimed, highly offended.

Out of the corn of his eye, Roy noted Ed taking Winry back to her husband and then escorting a teenage girl Roy recognized as the daughter of the colonel in charge of supply back on to the dance floor. "Riza, may I have this dance?" Roy asked bowing elegantly and offering a hand to Captain Hawkeye.

"I'd be honored," Hawkeye agreed, completely ignoring her still sputtering date.

Swirling around the dance floor with his subordinate, Roy preened a little knowing just how well they complemented each other in looks and how striking a picture the two of them made. Hawkeye stoically suppressed the urge to roll her eyes and quietly let Roy get the requisite showing off out of his system. Roy, having caught Hawkeye's patented long suffering look, cleared his throat, straightened his spine slightly, and got back to acting more like a normal person.

"So, you and Havoc..." Roy trailed off questioningly.

"Are friends," Hawkeye said decisively. "Colonel Elric seems to be enjoying himself," she observed, changing the subject.

"Hmm," Roy acknowledged the comment then fell silent--Colonel Elric deserving a few moments of contemplation. "The dance lessons seem to have gone well," Roy finally replied. "I didn't even see you limping last week."

"Steal toed boots," Hawkeye explained.

"Ah, very wise," Roy said, once again highly impressed with Hawkeye's good sense.

"I thought so," she agreed.

Sometime and several dances with wives and daughters later, Roy finally tracked Edward down at the refreshments table.

"Have you tried these little strawberry things?" Ed asked as soon as Roy reached him.

"And good evening to you too," Roy said facetiously, reaching toward one of the little strawberry sweets Ed had piled on his plate.

"Hey, get your own!" Ed exclaimed, pulling his plate away from Roy.

"I would, but someone has already hogged them all," Roy said looking at the empty dish on the table.

"Oh, right, I guess you can have one," Ed agreed, grudgingly offering his plate.

"I noticed you dancing earlier," Roy remarked ignoring Ed's scowl and taking several of the strawberry cakes from Ed and putting them on his own plate. "Enjoying yourself?"

"I noticed you kissing ass earlier," Ed replied mockingly. "Were you enjoying yourself?"

"Come now. I know you'd rather be puttering around in your lab, but it isn't that all that bad," Roy cajoled.

A middle aged lady done up in a frilly pink dress and entirely too many curls tittered girlishly having overheard their conversation. "General Mustang, you know how young men always want to be out and about accomplishing things," she remarked to Roy. "They have no patience for these social events, no matter how well orchestrated."

"Well orchestrated," Ed said derisively, "That orchestra is more off key than they are on. I think a tone deaf monkey could do better. Of course, even if they could play half way decently, that wouldn't do anything to improve the guest list," he added looking over at a group of the remaining old guard generals.

"Mrs. Haruko, please excuse us," Roy said bowing deeply to the middle aged woman who was now a deep shade of crimson and gaping like a dead fish, "The heat of the room has clearly caused Colonel Elric to take leave of his senses." Then he grabbed Ed's arm and unceremoniously dragged the smaller man out of the ballroom, across a balcony, down some steps, and out into the garden.

As soon as Roy felt they were far enough away to be assured of privacy he stopped their head long flight and turned to face Ed. Ed stood there in the garden looking a little bewildered and still holding his plate of hors d'oeuvres. After a few moments of Roy just staring at him and not saying anything, Ed shrugged and popped a flaky spinach puff in his mouth.

Finally noticing Roy's pop-eyed incredulous look, Ed finished chewing, swallowed, and demanded, "What?"

Roy took several deep calming breaths, then asked in a suspiciously even tone, "Fullmetal, do you have any idea who that woman we were talking to is?"

"Uh... no?" Edward answered nervously, carefully placing his plate on a nearby bench in case he had to run. Roy only called him Fullmetal in public or when he was seriously ticked about something.

Roy sighed in resignation. He really should have known better. Coming up with good excuse to get Ed out of attending wouldn't have been that hard. "That was Mrs. Haruko, General Haruko's wife, the one who fancies herself a musician, who chairs the entertainment committee and who graciously volunteered to personally handle hiring orchestra for the ball," Roy explained.

Ed thought over his earlier remarks for a second. Then his eyes got really big. He laughed a little sheepishly. Then in a small voice he said, "Whoops."

"Whoops," Roy repeated wearing his most stern look.

"Umm, sorry?" Ed added a bit helplessly.

Roy looked at the young man in front of him shifting nervously from foot to foot and chewing on his bottom lip. He wanted to be angry, he really did. But, he kept picturing Mrs. Haruko's face when Ed made that crack about tone deaf monkeys. In the end mirth won out. First he couldn't keep the corners of his mouth from twitching up into a smile and before long he was cackling in glee.

"So you're not mad?" Ed asked, confused.

"Not right now... maybe later... it's just the look on her face," Roy explained between snickers.

"Oh," Ed replied, nonplused by the sudden mood swing.

Mirth now under control, but still grinning like a fiend, Roy reached out to tuck a stray piece of hair behind Ed's ear and let his hand linger on Ed's cheek. "I don't think I've ever met anyone else with your knack for being offensive to all the right people."

"It's a talent," Ed agreed taking a step closer to Roy, so that there was barely a breath of space between them.

Roy stared down at Ed for a moment. Then, as if to himself, he half whispered, "God, I love you."

They both froze for a second. Ed blinked a few times while Roy's confession registered. Then Ed bounced up on his tip toes, wrapped his arms around Roy's neck, and pulled him down for a kiss. "Me too," he murmured against Roy's lips.

The kiss broke off just as a new song began in the ballroom. "May I have this dance?" Roy formally asked Ed.

"I thought you only lead?" Ed pointed out.

"I think we can muddle through one slow dance," Roy replied.

"Yeah, so do I," Ed agreed, both of them knowing that they were talking about more than just one dance.

A/N: Merry Christmas! And my brother is getting married next week but their preacher has a really bad case of food poisoning--so utter chaos.

Previous parts:
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12